My First Hanukkah with Sheldon
by wtchcool
Summary: "...he yelled at me for eight nights." Howard and Bernadette's kids find out why Uncle Sheldon isn't spending the holiday with them.


"My First Hanukkah with Sheldon"

By Wtchcool

Disclaimer: I do not own "The Big Bang Theory," but since "The Festival of Lights Theory" seemed to go well, I thought I'd try again this year.

_December 2019_

It was the first night of Hanukkah and the little ones were getting restless. Six year-old Michael and four year-old Ruth Wolowitz had been told that they'd have to wait until after dinner for their presents. This, in Michael's opinion, was cruel.

He looked around. Uncle Raj had come over and almost immediately started in on the Manischewitz so that he'd be able to talk in front of their mom and bubby. Uncle Leonard and even Aunt Penny had come this year, but…

"Dad, how come Uncle Sheldon isn't here?" Michael asked.

"Because Uncle Sheldon sucks the life out of every—"

"_Howard,_" Raj interrupted him.

"It's a long story," Howard said.

"So? Dinner's not ready yet," Michael pointed out because at this rate dinner was going to take forever. Thus there was plenty of time for several long stories.

"Alright, fine. I did make the mistake of trying to include your Uncle Sheldon in Hanukkah once…"

_December 2002_

"Here you go, Sheldon," Howard said as he handed him the wrapped parcel.

"What's this?" the physicist asked, suspiciously.

"It's a Hanukkah present. Tonight's the first night. Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday where—"

"I know what Hanukkah _is_," Sheldon interrupted. "I just don't understand why you would give me a present for it. You know I'm not Jewish." He'd already complained to his new friends several times about the horrors of growing up in Texas with his zealously religious Christian mother.

"I know, but I still thought it would be nice. I already gave presents to Raj and Leonard and they're not Jewish either. If you want, you can call it an early Christmas present."

"It doesn't matter what you call it, I can't accept this."

"What do you mean you can't? You haven't even opened it yet."

"You don't understand. You're not giving me a gift; you're giving me an obligation."

"I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what?" Howard asked. In the corner of his eye, he saw Leonard sneaking out of the room.

"The practice of gift giving requires an exchange of gifts. If I accept this gift, then according to convention I must give you one in return, ideally of equal value. This in turn could lead to you giving me another gift, and my having to reciprocate again in a vicious cycle that only ends when one of us dies—"

"Sheldon, don't make such a big deal out of it! Just open the wrapping paper, say 'thank you' and let's move on!"

Sheldon sighed, but obediently unwrapped the package anyway to discover a new t-shirt.

"Thank you, Howard," he said. "You understand that I'll need time to get you your gift."

"Don't worry about it, Sheldon. I hope we can get through the rest of the holiday without you protesting each time."

"What are you talking about?"

"You said you knew about Hanukkah."

"Yes; what's your point?"

"Then you know the holiday is eight nights."

"Oh please tell me you didn't!"

"I already bought you a present for each night."

* * *

Howard was shortly on the other side of Sheldon's apartment door.

"GET OUT AND STAY OUT!" Sheldon had screamed as he slammed it shut in the engineer's face.

At this point, Howard considered returning the rest of the gifts he'd bought for Sheldon or giving them to other people instead of to the crazy bastard.

Then he thought about how he'd finally found something to aggravate the man almost as much as Cooper aggravated him on a regular basis.

He was definitely going to give Sheldon the rest of the presents.

_December 2019_

"And that is why we must never again involve your Uncle Sheldon in any holiday festivities," Howard concluded. Bernadette walked into the room.

"Dinner's ready! Who wants latkes?"

**Author's Note: I figured there had to be a fic to go with Howard's line from the series about Sheldon yelling at him for eight nights. Hope you enjoyed.**

**Happy Hanukkah! And Happy Holidays! to any non-Jewish readers. **


End file.
